What I fear most about Droid

“Hey dude, I just picked up my new Droid phone! How’s the call sound on your end?”

“Sounds great, and it should because you’re calling me on my new Droid! Picked it up at Verizon this morning.”


“Right on. Guess what I’m naming mine?”


“Yeah, how’d you–“

“I know because that’s what I named mine.”


“No way, dude. I totally called it first. My Droid is R2-D2. Yours can be C-3PO.”


“That’s ridiculous. This phone ain’t programmed for etiquette and protocol; it’s an astromech protecting my Jedi ass through the rigors of space. I’m taking R2-D2. You can take R5-D4.”

“No freakin’ way. My Droid doesn’t have a bad motivator. My Droid is totally top of the line. My Droid is–“

“The same as mine, except mine is named R2-D2. This party’s over.”

“Dude, that line is lame and it totally doesn’t end a debate.”


“My purple lightsaber says otherwise.”

“Wait, how about this? You name yours R5-D4 and put the words “bad moti vator” on the back. So when people ask which phone is yours, you can say ‘it’s the one that says ‘bad moti vator”.”

“That’s… pretty good…”

“Or how about HK-47, the Hunter-Killer assassin droid and Jedi hunter constructed by Darth Revan? ‘HK-47, the very best there is. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every Jedi in the room, accept no substitutes.'”

“Wow, triple nerd score for that name, but I gots to admit you got me cornered with my Sam Jackson fanboyism. Okay, you can have R2-D2. I’ll take HK-47.”


“Right on. Okay man, I gotta call Matt now and talk him into naming his C-3PO or R5-D4. Later. (beep)”