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A $3,000 iPhone 5 Case for Those With Money to Burn

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A $3,000 iPhone 5 case is apparently one way to protect a $199 phone. This titanium Gresso Revolution bumper case may just be the perfect iPhone 5 case for the kind of guys that outfit high-mileage clunkers with $5,000 rims and $10,000 stereo systems.

Gresso is positioning the Revolution case as some sort of luxury, but there’s nothing about this case to justify its sky-high price.  Sure, you could brag to your friends about the $3,000 case, but you’ll probably lose a lot of respect in the process.

The Gresso Revolution bumper case is limited to a production run of 999. Each is serialized, which Gresso employees seem to think is an incredible feat. It’d make more financial sense to buy four extra iPhone 5s at the full $649 unsubsidized price than to buy the Gresso.

gresso-iPhone5_Case

$3,000 iPhone 5 Case

Gresso claims each Revolution bumper case takes three hours to manufacture using precession equipment, which equates to $1,000 per hour of shop time, excluding material costs. Despite what Gresso would like you to believe, titanium is not a precious metal. It costs about $10 per pound, which means the 3.5 grams that go into each Revolution case is worth just over two cents should you decide to melt it down for scrap. Gresso is generous enough to throw in a dab of 18k gold.

According to the company:

Gresso Revolution bumper-case brings unique qualities to millions of popular smartphone users. The pece highlights the owner’s individual character, lifestyle and goals.

So if I understand the above gibberish correctly, spending $3,000 on a piece of metal to wrap around my iPhone 5 will make me popular and special. Perhaps we have the pricing all wrong. As you can see, whomever wrote Gresso’s press release doesn’t have a stellar command of his keyboard. Perhaps, he meant to type $30.00 rather than $3,000…

 

75 Comments

75 Comments

  1. Welfare trash

    09/26/2012 at 2:32 pm

    I am gonna order one with my food stamp card to put on my free cell phone that the government pays for.

    • Jc Samford

      09/29/2012 at 7:49 pm

      Nice !

    • Will Fare

      01/09/2013 at 4:45 pm

      I do the same thing. It’s fun being on the dole. Let the other suckahs work hard and pay for my free ride.

    • Kaon Northover

      01/26/2013 at 5:36 pm

      lol @welfare trash @foodstamp lol gees where else u c shitt like this but online

  2. SchmittyJ

    09/28/2012 at 1:53 pm

    I would *love* to see how many units this genius company has moved…

    • Adam

      10/01/2012 at 8:00 am

      It made my unit move a little.

    • cwclifford

      10/02/2012 at 2:03 pm

      My guess is they only need to selle one per month.

  3. Franco polazzi

    09/28/2012 at 9:45 pm

    Wouldnt wrap my ballsack in this!

  4. Guido bolognese

    09/28/2012 at 9:48 pm

    If i saw someone with this id use plyers to twist off their balssss. Know what i mean… Guys!!!?

  5. Gianni palermo

    09/28/2012 at 9:52 pm

    Unfreaken believable bro! Buncha bs!
    i’ll use that money for some new momo rims on my honda crx! See ya on the shore!

  6. Borat sagdiev

    09/28/2012 at 9:55 pm

    Blacks cant afford…. GREAT SUCCESS!!!!!

    • Pamela Screen

      10/05/2012 at 10:44 pm

      How would you know All whites are not loaded with money either some nerve!

      • Nick

        10/11/2012 at 2:27 pm

        You mised the point… Mostly black people ( some white) are on welfare, section 8 , food stamps and cash assistance and then drive almost a new vehicle… And buy shit like this….. So you have some nerve.. And yes I’m white if your wondering

        • chris

          10/20/2012 at 5:28 am

          Nick you are very much misinformed. However, the popular media portrays black dependant upon goverment assistance in a very disproportionate manner. I hope you understand 1 day.

          • wired

            10/21/2012 at 12:35 pm

            Drinking the Kool Aid much Chris? 47% of America is on food stamps. 80% of them are black. You can go straight to the Bureau of Statistics and see that this is true. Do your own research instead of believing what CNN, MSNBC, or even FoxNews tells you. Blacks shout on the internet constantly about how they are taking government assistance in reparation for Slavery. When most of them don’t even know someone alive who was a slave. How about learning some personal responsibility.

          • ghsucks

            11/08/2012 at 10:53 am

            You’re right. He is misinformed. I see Hispanics using their EBT cards way more often than blacks. It must have something to do with the fact that the state I live in is largely Hispanic.

          • Exadyne

            12/03/2012 at 1:28 pm

            @wired
            I hope you’re trying to be sarcastic. By your math, 37.6% of Americans are black. On top of the idea of there being a Bureau of Statistics, LOL.
            Now the Bureau of Labor keeps statistics, but it would tend to be the Department of Agriculture that will tell you the majority of people on food stamps are white, and the percent of the population on food stamps is lower than 47%.
            47% is the percent of percent of people that didn’t pay federal income tax in 2009 because they were too young, too old (retired), or too poor (unemployed because of the economic collapse).

        • NiggerMANI

          11/27/2012 at 3:10 pm

          WTH you are just plain dumb section 8 people have the latest trends but can buy food.

        • Ed

          01/12/2013 at 9:39 am

          Actually, there are more poor white people than poor black people. About a third of our country’s 250 million people are poor. black people make up 16 percent of the population, and about half of them are poor. So you see, there are far more poor whites than blacks, but there is a higher percentage of poor blacks among their own population.

        • Tyler

          01/24/2013 at 4:03 am

          Agreed! The government assistance is exactly what I just said! For people that need ASSISTANCE not to be taken advantage of so you have more money to blow on stupid shit like this! And the funny thing is if you have one of these and drop your phone screen down, guess what! Your still gonna have a shattered screen and an empty $3,000.00 dollar case to brag about having with no phone to put in it!

      • Mark Kalvin

        11/15/2012 at 2:40 am

        @wired,

        The United State’s Civil war ended in 1865, on the assumption that the last person to be a slave was born on the day of the end of that war, he or she would have been 100 years old in 1965. Your assertion, “Blacks shout on the internet constantly about how they are taking government assistance in reparation for Slavery. When most of them don’t even know someone alive who was a slave,” is so intellectually weak, it is an act of charity to only call it “cretinous.”

        As a black man who works a job and reads regularly, I’ll happily trade you my learning personal responsibility when you (and hopefully those of your ilk) learn history, basic reasoning skills and the use of simple arithmetic as a tool in argument.

        Is it a deal?

        • my name

          11/16/2012 at 7:50 pm

          Well played sir. The levels of ignorance on these forums never cease to amaze.

  7. Steve

    09/30/2012 at 1:53 am

    Yep, na(i)ggers can’t buy it, judging by above responses. I love titanium.

    • Yo butt

      10/04/2012 at 6:24 pm

      Judging by your response, you can’t afford it neither.

      • GF811

        10/06/2012 at 11:09 am

        Best response yet…

      • Ho ho you got him.

        10/18/2012 at 9:10 am

        You can’t afford it neither? Double negative you just flamed yourself good job.

    • Pamela Screen

      10/05/2012 at 10:50 pm

      It always has to be an ignorant racist comment made no matter what totally uncalled for what makes you so superior huh Not!

      • Diego

        10/06/2012 at 8:47 pm

        Money can’t buy a brain, you know.

  8. Jason Wilson

    10/05/2012 at 3:27 pm

    Someone will buy it just because they can. It sucks but its true.

  9. Scott Wharton

    10/05/2012 at 5:42 pm

    April fools in October?

  10. Joe Blow

    10/07/2012 at 8:47 pm

    If they’re only making 999, then how will they sell it to “to millions of popular smartphone users”? Of course, anybody dumb enough to buy this won’t figure that out since the math is too hard.

  11. deeznutz

    10/08/2012 at 8:01 pm

    i use it for protection when i f<ck Paris Hilton

  12. Nick R

    10/09/2012 at 4:31 pm

    How nice of a “pece” is it that people won’t realize they spent $3000 on a piece of metal that will get scratched and probably be more pissed off about for scratching than if they had just scratched their $649 iPhone? Also how can millions of people enjoy the “unique” (not actually unique since the bumpers are all the same and the only differentiating factor is the serial number) qualities of this case when they are only producing 999 cases?

    Lastly, the 3 hours of assembly probably figured the 1st case which took a couple hours to program on a CNC lathe including fine-tuning the process. Otherwise it shouldn’t take more than 30-45 minutes per bumper including serial number plus adding the gold plating.

    • Titanium is a soft metal guise!11!!ELEVEN!!TWENTYONE!111

      10/18/2012 at 9:12 am

      I’m guessing you dont know how hard titanium is, and how hard it would be for you to scratch it with an everyday item lol.

      • MiG

        10/19/2012 at 7:11 pm

        It’s not very hard, it’s softer than high strength steels. What makes it useful is that its density is ~60% of steel and it’s corrosion resistant. But that’s irrelevant to scratch resistance.
        Get a clue before speaking.

        • Bill Steen

          10/19/2012 at 9:28 pm

          Way to Google the metal properties like you knew them off the top of your head, and post to try to tell someone they’re stupid for not looking them up. You’re the kind of douche that makes me ask why I read the comments sometimes.

          • MiG

            10/19/2012 at 9:52 pm

            Is fortune telling one of your hobbies? Because you’re about as accurate as one.
            Aeronautical engineer by trade and own a titanium framed bike. Suck it.

        • Bill Steen

          10/20/2012 at 5:01 am

          How convenient. And right….because that would make you less of a douche….

        • Tyler

          01/24/2013 at 4:16 am

          Number one…. Titanium is non metallic… Magnets do not attract to titanium…. Number two titanium is not soft depending on how it is formed…. I use to work in a machine shop that made parts out of titanium rods, titanium does not heat like most metals, it stays cooler longer, it doesn’t scratch, and doesn’t ding or dent… The only thing on this case that will scratch is the paint…. And if they painted it right it won’t even scratch, the shop I use to work at made surgical spinal implants… And a titanium blade will cut right through your arm and bone! The only thing that will scratch titanium is a diamond, we had to use specially made diamond drill bits to cut these metal parts so no if processed right this metal is the hardest metal you’ll find! So take your comment and shove it down your throat and stop talking out if your ass, and the only reason your bike is not hard is because its hollow framed number one and your bike was heated to extreme temperature!

          • John

            02/19/2013 at 2:46 pm

            Why is everyone SOO mean to each other!!??

  13. Bob

    10/10/2012 at 9:20 am

    Xavier, speaking of a “stellar command of a keyboard” what exactly is “Precession equipment?” Is it more accurate than precision equipment? also, at $10/pound, the scrap value of 3.5g is closer to eight cents than to two.

  14. Crayzeetrain

    10/11/2012 at 6:54 am

    And at the end of the day it still goes on a piece of crap iPhone that will likely have a broken screen within days of installing

  15. Kevinesam

    10/15/2012 at 9:17 am

    I think I’ll be using my iPhone 5 as a protector for that case…

  16. beobe

    10/15/2012 at 6:22 pm

    Boom goes the dynamite. NIGGERS.

  17. Henry

    10/16/2012 at 10:34 am

    It’s a pen is extension. The same rich douchebag who buys this also has a $50,000 Rolex to tell the time and a diamond-crusted, carbon fiber toilet to flush their royal turds away.

    • Fancy shitter sign me up

      10/18/2012 at 9:14 am

      Where can i get the latter? I would’nt mind showing off a 50,000 dollar toilet seat it means I have class.

      • Carbon master

        11/08/2012 at 11:00 am

        If you are seriously interested in a carbon fiber toilet seat, post your contact info and I will gladly make you one. I can use carbon fiber, ballistics grade zylon, or Kevlar and have it in a multitude of colors.

  18. Subtrakt (@subtrakt)

    10/24/2012 at 7:41 am

    That’s probably 50 children life’s that could be saved in some third world country.

  19. Stump Lifter

    10/24/2012 at 1:21 pm

    Xavier, crawl out from under your tangle of wires and look at the world from the perspective of people who BUY rather than those who create. It’s inexpensive bling for your iPhone – What’s not to understand. Why do people buy $12,000 watches by the carload when $10 gets them the same functionality? Because they can!

  20. John Doe

    10/25/2012 at 9:08 am

    The comment about the Niggers is correct!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have these people were I work. New CAR, Big house (Section 8) there rent $120.00 and lots of food Stamps.Oh and Have a Iphone 5 with this shity case. They think they deserve all of this but always claim there being treated with discrimination all the time. What a FUCKING JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Satans Helper

      12/06/2012 at 5:16 pm

      Agreed, I see my tax money is being utilized properly by supplying individuals with new vehicles and expensive electronics. Aparently taking advantage of those that work hard is the American way.

  21. Big Pimpin'

    10/25/2012 at 1:39 pm

    I bought two of these. Cuz i’m cool y0!

  22. Brandon Yen

    10/27/2012 at 11:58 pm

    If this $3000 Titanium bumper case will change my iphone 5 to a real diamond phone I would pay it for $3000.00, otherwise scrap it.

  23. Tom

    10/29/2012 at 7:43 am

    So it “brings unique qualities to millions of popular smartphone users”… But they are only going to make 999 of them?. My maths isn’t great but even I can tell something isn’t right there.

  24. andym959

    10/29/2012 at 8:46 am

    Hey Xavier, did you ever think about learning how to spell? Pece, instead of Piece, Precession, instead of Precision and so on…. awful grammar and spelling..

  25. Spookieboi

    10/29/2012 at 7:48 pm

    Can I by half of one …..lol….or is there a payment plan ese …

  26. Mr.Falazio

    11/02/2012 at 4:55 pm

    Don’t worry, the government spends billions more on figuring out ways to murder and destroy life at the push of a button. Who cares what color people are that receive assistance? Its chump change when compared to what we flush down for R&D. lol. It is sad to see people comparing the size of their “new car” to determine “wealth”. There is no “wealth” for the average American. You live to work. Do not become upset with the “system” over the internet.. then proceed to open your wall street journal puplication, and quietly pay your taxes that fund this “outrage” of which you speak.

    EUGENICS : Look it up.

    • ghsucks

      11/08/2012 at 11:42 am

      PUBLICATION : Look it up.

  27. Ender

    11/02/2012 at 5:37 pm

    OK…actually, its a real bargain at under $2,000!
    https://www.luxury.gresso.com/luxurycases/213/773/?el=773&bid=63&id=213&n=a1

  28. Paul

    11/04/2012 at 4:01 am

    This is a review of an overpriced iPhone case. It has nothing to do with racism or politics. It is truly sad that some people feel the need to express their ignorant views when it has absolutely no relevance to the subject.

    • mac man

      11/06/2012 at 5:13 pm

      Hey really great to read such a well rounded reply, sure the case has an extortionate price tag few could aspire to but , given the iPhone shape will almost certainly change next refresh, this lovely case will have a very short shelf life , so expect prices to fall significantly next year, mac man

  29. Snoop

    11/04/2012 at 5:45 pm

    Fuck all the other bullshit! Either buy the phone case or go to another site, everything else is completely irrelevant. Some of you know how to make the most of a bag of shit and run with it. I wouldn’t waste my money on a case that doesnt protect the face of my phone nor the back that’s just ”plain ole stupid”.

  30. Carbon master

    11/08/2012 at 11:05 am

  31. Rodrigo

    11/20/2012 at 6:29 pm

    its actually $1,990. which makes much more affordable for me now. phew. https://www.luxury.gresso.com/luxurycases/213/773/?63&n=a3&ib=63&id=213&bid=63&el=773

  32. Whyareyousoignorant

    11/22/2012 at 8:44 am

    $1700 and falling!!

  33. Truth

    11/24/2012 at 8:37 am

    That’s what our world is first a 3000 case then raciest comments, what’s so pathetic about the whole post is that no one stopped to say or think that if I would not pay 3k for a damn case why am I worried??? And for u raciest asses on here u could suck a nigga/nigger dick talk shit over the Internet .. U bad…. But ignorance is for the weak… I’m out my weak moment so have a wonderful day people.

  34. Satans Helper

    12/06/2012 at 5:12 pm

    Is it just a frame or is there a front protection screen, just crazy as a frame only.

  35. Dan

    12/08/2012 at 9:14 am

    They dropped the price to $1000. Still not worth it

  36. OTTERBOX FAN

    12/30/2012 at 11:17 am

    Otter Box Defender FTW!!

  37. Josh

    01/02/2013 at 9:03 am

    My question is: how does the “Revolution bumper-case bring unique qualities to millions of popular smartphone users” when it’s limited to 999? and how does it “highlight the owner’s individual character, lifestyle and goals” when 999 other rich snobs use it too? Obviously they’re targeting rich people who don’t have a brain.

  38. Alexander

    01/07/2013 at 12:05 pm

    Get an EDGE case. they’re awesome https://edge-design.com/store/iphone5-cases

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