The GBM iPad Series: Stall Surfing and the iPad

I know some folks think I’m crude when I post and remind them that there is such a thing as Stall Surfing. You know, surfing the web while sitting on the throne. But the truth is, more people than are willing to admit do so. Smartphones made this practice, though still cloaked in subterfuge, even more common. Steve Jobs is quoted in a New York Times piece about Tablets, wondering what they were good for beside surfing the web on a toilet.

Well, the bottom line, Tablets are great for surfing the web while doing what we all do in that special room. The iPad is no different, and may indeed be better for a few reasons. I’m on record as saying that the iPhone was the perfect Stall Surfing device, but the iPad may indeed be stiff competition for the throne. I think the jury is still out there, so we’ll see as time goes by. But for now, here are nine reason why I think the iPad deserves worthy consideration as an excellent choice for Stall Surfers. You know who you are.

  1. Lack of heat: Unless you’re one of those who use outdoor facilities and preferred your Tablet to add a little warmth to the occasion, the iPad doesn’t heat up and threaten to leave burn marks on your thighs.
  2. Excellent battery life: No, I’m not talking about spending hours and hours in the loo here. But it is always frustrating to have a low battery warning just when you don’t need that kind of disruption. It can also be shockingly stultifying if you have an audible alarm set for low battery life and it goes off at the wrong moment. The iPad’s long battery life should reduce those occasions.
  3. No fan noise: If you tarry too long you won’t miss those queries from the other room asking you how long you’re going to be because of a noisy fan. Of course this could be a good or a bad thing, all things depending on your circumstances.
  4. Glossy screen: If the light is right this can be a big time saver as you can see your reflection in the iPad reducing the time you need to primp in the bathroom mirror after the fact.
  5. Large screen: For whatever your viewing pleasure might be.
  6. Screen Orientation: View it in portrait or landscape. The choice is yours.
  7. Screen Orientation lock: With the flip of a switch you can lock the screen into the orientation you desire when you have to set the iPad down for whatever reason.
  8. Virtual Keyboard: OK, maybe you don’t just consume content when your’e doing the do, maybe you need to answer that important email: The large virtual keyboard might make this easier.
  9. It’s not a phone: You won’t have to answer or reject a call.

And the one reason that the iPad may not work for you as a stall surfing device? Well, it has something to do with how many hands you need to use to control the iPad.

Other Posts in This Series


  1. Joe says

    But here’s the drawback: inability to balance it on the TP dispenser while ‘wrapping up’. Of course you could always lay it on the floor.. iPad 0 iPhone 1.

  2. Chad says

    It is also a bit large to carry in with you. With a phone you typically have it in your pocket or holder (no strange looks.) With the iPad you are carrying a large screen in with you…

  3. tivoboy says

    two thoughts,

    home: ok!

    anyplace else: forget about it! no place clean to put it down, lord KNOWS what is on the floor and how many antibiotics it will take to kill it off!!

  4. GFL says

    Who wants to be the first to invent a holder that straddles the base of the “cludgie” (thanks @Gavin) and allows you to be hands free? Maybe add-on accessories for a Purell holder and a TP holder?

  5. tabletenvy says

    Better to use one of those rugged medical tablets, like the Motion C5. Easy to disinfect…


  6. John in Norway says

    I was going to rant about the fact that my Kohjinsha SC3 trumps the ipad once again but you had to mention the video of your lovely wife Thomasin in the shower and all my bad thoughts have disappeared!

Leave a Reply